Realities of a Stranger

Do you want to know what reality is?

Reality is having countless blackouts and alcohol poisonings because liquor has become your closest comfort.

It’s being so depressed that you drive your car head-on into an 18-wheeler, hoping your life would end.

Reality is shoving your fingers down your throat because you think if you look good on the outside it will hide your inward ugliness and shame.

Reality is being so insecure in who you are, you use drugs to be someone you’re not.

It’s having constant voices in your head telling you to end your life.

How do I know that’s reality?

Because that was me.   

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2.5 million People die from their addiction each year

• 6,849 deaths per day
• 258 deaths per hour
• 5 deaths per minute

I have known friends and loved ones that have become apart of this statistic. The Epidemic of addiction has become a not-so-fun game of Russian Roulette. There’s a revolver, loaded with one bullet, aimed at every addict’s head. With every injection, sniff, and swallow they spin the cylinder of that gun and pull the trigger. There no more needs to be the question of can addiction kill. The question has now become when and how?

This used to be my life. I was locked behind bars. Imprisoned by my hopelessness, despair, anger, self-hatred, shame, and addiction. I was stuck inside with no key. No way out. No strength. No hope. I tried to quit on my own and it never worked. Sure I knew about God, but what would he want to do with me?? Why would a perfect God in heaven love a dirty, broken and shameful girl like myself?

Then the Truth of the Gospel was explained to me, what seemed like for the first time.

In the lowest and most hopeless point of my life I encountered Jesus. I told Him if he was real then he had to save me or I was going to die. It was like He looked through the bars that held me captive; gently and lovingly He told me he could free me. That he not only could free me from the prison I was in but also heal me from the pain I had endured while being there. He didn’t stop there though. He promised that He loved me despite all the things I had done. Really Jesus? All the things that I have done? He told me I would never be alone again. That He also had a plan and purpose for my life.

I was never the same after I encountered that Love. 6 years later everything He promised me has remained true. And those realities listed above no longer define me. They are realities of a stranger.